Do you trust people's words, or their actions?
Trust is the most significant thing in any relationship or friendship. It is the most delicate and fragile thing in ALL relationships.
It is also the one topic I can write a short book about. I cannot emphasize enough why trust matters in every connection of our lives.
We want people in our lives that we can fully trust, people who feel safe and reliable.
I believe that trust is solely built on HONESTY, RESPECT, TRANSPARENCY, and CONSISTENCY.
When we’re honest with one another, it creates a safe space for us to say things like…
“Ok, I can trust this person because they’ve never lied to me”
“I trust this person because they always keep their word and do what they said they would”
“I trust this person because they always show up for me”
“I trust this person because they’re always honest and transparent with me”
Overtime this is how trust is gradually built piece by piece, not overnight. Trust is something that is earned. It’s where we let our guards down and become vulnerable with one another.
But what if it’s all shattered and lost… Can trust ever truly be rebuilt once it's broken?
Imagine a fragile antique wine glass.
It drops and shatters.
Now imagine trying to repair what’s been broken.
You try to glue all the pieces back together, but once it has been broken, it will never be the same wine glass again.
That is how broken trust is, it is like a fragile glass and once its broken, the damage will show.
We often hear things like…
“I’m sorry” or “It’s okay, it can be fixed” after experiencing a loss, damage or broken trust. But is it really that simple?
If trust is built one truth at a time and lost with one single lie, can it ever be the same?
Whether we lie or break a promise, the outcome is often the same: A loss of trust.
Broken trust is by far one of the most challenging things to fix in relationships, however it can be done with accountability and changed behavior.
A trustworthy person says:
"I was wrong. Here's what happened, and here's what I'm doing to fix it."
Instead of:
"It's not a big deal."
"You're overreacting."
"Just let it go!”
How we communicate is a key part of rebuilding trust. It means being honest about our mistakes and mindful of how we respond in difficult moments.
Being considerate and understanding is important to resolving conflict. Before we act or speak, we should ask ourselves: “How would this make the other person feel?”
Although we may think that leaving out small details isn't important, that doesn't mean it isn't important to the other person.
Again, trust is built piece by piece and the little things can always make a positive difference in our connections.
Good communication followed with honesty and consistency is showing the other person,
“I see you, I hear you and I will make sure that I do whatever to make sure you feel safe with me”
Rebuilding trust is hard for everyone involved. The person who was hurt carries the pain, and the person who caused it carries the consequences. In the end, nobody wins..
In conclusion,
Always tell the truth, no matter how big or small it may be. All it takes is one mistake and one lie to break or end a connection.