Having connections with people is human nature. However, not all relationships are healthy for us. Some relationships can hint warnings, alerting us that we should be aware of something.
What are red flags? - a warning sign indicating unhealthy behavior
What makes red flags so threatening is that they aren't reconogzinable in the beginning. Typically, because we can be blinded by what is going well. As time goes on, some red flags can be resolved through simple communication but red flags tend to become problematic and hard to deal with if not addressed. Typically what is ignored in the beginning of relationships tend to be the reasons why the relationships later end.
However, not all red flags are deal breakers and not all relationships won’t be perfect but they should be healthy. It is a partnership that should be established with who fate desires.
Here are a few simple questions to ask yourself about the relationship.
Do they respect you and your boundaries?
Do they uplift you?
Do you know what your deal breakers are?
Don’t wait for a second or third warning flag to alert you that something is unsettling and unhealthy.
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐝.
Examples of Red flags:
Lack of trust (Trust is an important foundation in any relationship, without trust there’s no healthy relationship)
Lack of communication (this is self explanatory & major key to having understanding between each other)
Controlling/ Possessive Behaviors (Isolating you, controlling who you talk to, what you post on social media, where you go and what you wear)
Mental and Verbal Abusive (belittles or criticizes you) Relationships should uplift, and never make you feel less of who you are
They disregard your feelings & are non-supporters (Acting as if only their feelings are important)
They leave you feeling confused all the time / You never know where you stand with them (If you have to question the relationship constantly, then it’s probably not the right one)
Secrective (Honesty and trust is huge in relationships, if a partner is keeping things from you, that’s unhealthy)
Emotionally unavailable (Someone who is unable to be vulnerable and unable to connect with you emotionally, they will lack empathy and emotional intelligence. This is a red flag)
Constantly needing reassurance in the relationship (showing insecurities and acts of jealousy all the time)
Rushing or forcing a relationship (nothing should be done forcefully or too soon)
Reacting poorly when you choose not to hang out with them (starts a fight or tries to make you feel bad)
Lack of accountability (Never admits when they are wrong or apologizes for their mistakes)
Always playing victim (blaming you for anytime the relationship faces problems)
Wanting strict rigid roles (Inflexible & unable to see another persons perspective - Ex. of rigid role is having someone demand that you serve and obey them.)
Pour into who pours good into you and love those that sincerely love and care for you.
The person you choose to be with should want the best for you.
You should want the best for yourself and the best for who you end up with.
➝ Check out this blog post I found with more great examples of red flags: Read more
Questions answered by participants:
What does a red flag mean to you?
“A stunt of growth” - G
“A red flag is a cycle or behavior that can be identified as unhealthy. Also could be a violation of my boundaries or needs that have been communicated”. - Megan
“An indication of a bad partner” - Katie
How do you identify a red flag?
“When I begin to feel uncomfortable” - Charles
“When the same mistakes are being repeated” - G
What are some red flags to you?
“Unaccountability, selfish and lying” - Charles
“Irresponsible, lying and small minded” - G
What are red flag deal breakers?
“Disloyal” - Charles
“Not getting along with the family” - Anonymous
“Bad work ethic, poor communication and having no respect towards others.” - Katie
Can you share an experience when you noticed a red flag in a relationship?
“I dated a girl and noticed how she went out too much, how much money she spent and never contributed to anything in the house” - Charles
“I was dating someone, within a couple weeks he told me he was not an emotional person and is often told he’s very nonchalant. After that I started noticing how emotionally unavailable he actually was. He wouldn’t express something as simple as “I want to see you” or ever ask the question of “When can I see you again?” If I expressed my emotions he would gas light me and tell me I was such a “hopeless romantic” or I was “needy”. I stayed thinking he would open up only to consistently be gas lighted as being an over emotional person for wanting simple communication of feelings.” - Megan